anyway you don't have to be elated about everything all the time i mean what if you think there is no alternative other than blasting your brains out against the wall what if there seems to be no fucking point to any fucking thing whatsoever and why should you bother about anything i mean what about that i get really really really sick and tired of people telling me what i should do like its any of their business anyway i really couldn't care at all i mean all i really want to do is just curl up into a small ball and forget about everything and what in gawds name is wrong with that i see no reason why anyone should have a problem with it actually what is the point of achievement and striving constantly and status and money and everything please explain it to me because i just dont understand
ha ha try to go on but its hard to go on with the cooking cooking and nature calling and and anyway someone said i heard them say what is the point of living if you cant have a family what a funny old question i mean ive survived 36 years without one and im still here thank you all very much ive got all i need i can pay my rent and my bills and feed myself and ive got entertainment and a bit of stimulation and a few of lifes little pleasures like getting up early on saturday morning and going out for coffee and reading the papers but that tends to clog the brain i wonder if everything they throw at us isnt designed to clog our brains up with gum like we are opiated or what
anyway you tell me what the problem is coz i cant figure it out jack i mean i think im ok i think everything is just fine and dandy why would i feel sad just because everything looks like its made of plastic and nothing seems real anymore but there are just a few points of light just a few little shafts here there and maybe just beyond what you cant see lets just see whats what