In the end we're all just abandoned children.

Another week ends. Friday night. Spent too much on drinks and dinner. Home now listening to my new green day cd. Feel like the night is still too young but nothing to do now, nowhere to go really except bed. Can't drink more booze. Well..... don't forget this fact: life is always magnificent, however pedestrian it may appear to be at times. Dignity is always close to hand if you want to reach out and take it.

Recently had a look at some of my old writings and discovered that there was quite a bit of unfinished business to attend to, which I've neglected for really quite a while. It's kind of pathetic that I haven't done any real writing for so long. I should be working, working every day but I don't. Most days I can't even think of anything but it's time to get back on it, after a fairly lengthy fallow period. Well I've had other things to think about, work and relationships, uni and such. But there is really no excuse, no excuse at all.

Valentine's day. Shiiiiiiiiit

Right, um. Write. Yes

haha hahaaaaaaaaa

The boost in Omega three really does seem to have had a beneficial effect already. I've noticed I'm already sleeping better, six straight hours of uninterrupted, deep restive sleep. I wake up and I don't really feel like I need more. Anyway I've had to function so often on far less sleep than that, that I think my body has adjusted to living without so very much sleep anyway.

Had a nice dream about Nick, my former boss. He offered to take me out for a drink, for some reason, out of simple kindness I suppose. It felt really right and pleasant to be with him at that point. People give you so much more of their essense when they come to visit you while you're sleeping. In spite of the fact that he was a boss, he was a pretty good bloke, I thought. He really had the passion for teaching. Who else works like that? As one of the students put it "He's so hardcore man." Dedication is a rare quality these days.

Some of my darker compulsions seem to have slipped by....need I even mention those? Nah, fuck em.

I'm sitting here in the office again. Monday morning. My sleep was par for a sundays night, about 2 hours. In my insomnia I started reading "Healing without Freud or Prozac" again, one of the most humane things I've ever encountered. It was reassuring to read that accupunture and omega 3 oils can basically cure depression, more effectively than psych drugs. I know that with this insomnia I must be depressed, at least some of the time, a bit. What to do about it I don't know, but I can at least try upping the dose of omega 3 fish oil each day, getting some accupuncture and maybe a bit more exercise. If only Rhea would do the same.........

Any addiction is just fine as long as you learn something in the process of breaking it.

cuzz at coogee