Well it's been a busy old week with mum in town. Been eating out, a lot. Too much good, rich food definitely tires the soul after a while. I find it provokes anxiety to spend too much money. You get to a point where it feels like the spending is just out of control, things are in freefall, it feels like it'll never stop.

With writing you have to step outside yourself. I get sick and tired of falling into navel gazing, self-pitying crap, like the kind I've indulged in too much on these postings. The world demands a lot more attention than I do.

Um, yes, um.......

Yes yes it has been quite a long while since I put anything of any substance up here. It plays on my mind a bit, as this is it for me lately, as far as the old creative output is concerned. So it feels like it's about time for me to take a big old deep breath, and get refocused. The thing that crossed my mind this morning, as I lay in bed pondering, was that a the thing that a person must do in life, more than anything else, is to prepare for death. I'm not trying to sound grim or depressive here (even though everyone always says that). But what kind of life have we lived if we haven't prepared for the absolute inevitable? One reaches a certain age and one realises that the scales are tipped, and not in one's own favour. One gets past the expected half-way point and then it's all downhill. I figure that if you get to the age of a hundred, all of human history starts to look like a pretty small stretch, considering how short a human life is, and how quickly time flies as you age. Sometimes it seems hard to believe that I've reached this age and not married, not had a child or bought property. But of course it's not all that uncommon these days, which doesn't make it seem any less disappointing. But why be disappointed when all life ends alone in the grave anyway, regardless of one's lifetime companions, children or property.

Another day, another dime.....

Sheesh it's been a while since I posted hasn't it? There's lots more I could say here, should say. Had all sorts of inspiration earlier in the day and now it's just slipped, but no doubt it'll come back. There is so much thought that just disappears into thin air. If you don't write it down it just floats off. So many years of potential get wasted in this way. It'd be a great thing if I always had a notepad wherever I went, just to make a quick note of all the little things, the quirks that are notable or quotable. Patrick White used to do it, but I'm no Patrick White. I'm just a lazy shit, in fact.